CatStories
 


Bird Story

I had just came in from walking Tic and Tac.  The boys were greatly amused by watching a flock of young robins in a nearby Rowan bush.  The berries are very ripe at this time and the birds were getting swacked from eating them!

The robins were flapping madly to keep from falling out of the tree, and staggering into each other on the ground.  They were making very uncoordinated flights to other perches and chattering and chirping all out of tune. 

Swacked, swizzled, plastered, bombed or just flat out DRUNK.  Forget impaired driving! 

Ever wonder what a bird takes for a hangover?  Probably Ex'seedrin!!!
 


Kitty And The Truck

Just an amusing little tale.  Yesterday morning I arrived home from work in the wee hours of the morning.  As my headlights hit the end of the driveway I spotted a flash of eyes. 

Now since I have had everything from moose, bobcats, woodchucks, raccoons and rabbits in my yard I slowed down before pulling in.

There in the driveway I met two of my neighbor's cats.  The larger one, a black longhair, scooted into the bushes.  But the other one, a long haired grey tiger, bravely stood his ground!

Now this is just a smallish cat about a year or so old.  He arched his back, fluffed his tail and started stiff-legged hopping at my truck.  A very, very evil look was on his face!

I crept slowly forward and he retreated a bit but then went into the Fierce Tiger mode again.  This went on the entire length of the driveway.  Move up, stop for attack kitty, move up, stop again.  It took me 10 minutes to travel my driveway. 

Finally he leaped into the bushes.  Likely very impressed with himself.  It took me another 10 minutes to stop laughing long enough to get the door unlocked. 

We raise TOUGH cats up here in Canada!
 


Kitty Party

Last night as I sat here at the computer I heard a patter of little feet and a few low bumps.  I got up and went to check on Tic and Tac but both were sound asleep.  Odd!!!  As I sat back down the noise started again, this time accompanied by a squeak or two, obviously from outside.  Thinking raccoons I switched on the porch light.  Big Surprise!

There on the roof were two sets of kitty eyes.  One was my little grey friend from the episode with the truck.  The other a beautiful young Siamese that had started wandering through lately.

Well great, now we've become the neighborhood kitty playground!  The night before Grey Kitty was sitting close by Tic and Tac, apparently communing.  Do you suppose he was getting their permission to hold this little dance on the roof???
 


The Great Hunt

We have met the Enemy… and he Squeaks!!!!!

This morning Tic and Tac found themselves a mouse in the front room.  They thundered hither and yon, up and down, in and out, hot on its tail.  Every time wee Mousie ran under the sofa or whatever cover he could find they hunkered down at each end and gave me "the look"!!  "Chase him out for us Big Brother".  So it's move furniture, chase Mousie, move furniture, chase Mousie. 

Now this is all well and good except I'm trying to catch Mousie and put him outside!

After a time Mousie simply surrendered and sat in the middle of the floor expecting "The End".  Both boys took a sniff and then walked away.  I scooped Mousie up in a cup and carried him out to the woods.  He never even tried to get out of the cup.  When I sat him down, he squeaked "Thanks", I guess, and scurried off. 

Lord I hope he doesn't come back for a re-run!!!
 


Short Tail Tale

 About two years ago I was leaving for work in the wee hours just at dawn.  As I stepped out the door I noticed a cat all huddled up on our doorstep.  Now I figured this was the  neighbor's big grey cat which hung around occasionally.  So I reached out with my foot and gave him a poke.  Told him to scat for home.  He leaped off the step as if I had stabbed him and spun around to hiss at me.  Wow!!!!  It wasn't who I thought.  It was a medium sized Bobcat!  He gave me a VERY evil stare with fangs that looked about six inches long, growling and grumbling.  After a brief stare down he turned and trotted off. 

For the next 3 weeks he kind of wandered by occasionally, but never bothering anything.  I took to calling him Robert D. Cat.  Finally he found someplace else and I haven't seen him since.  Although there are occasionally very large cat tracks about!!
 


The Cat vs The Rat

This little story takes place at the Brunterm Container Pier in St. John, New Brunswick.  The manager of the place was named Rod and his secretary was my next door neighbor Doreen. 

Now Rod had more or less adopted a little Maltese feral who lived in the offices and the main warehouse.  She was a tiny little thing that weighed maybe seven pounds at the most.  But she had the heart of a lion.  Every day she would catch a mouse or rat and bring it to Rod for inspection and praise.  He would fuss over her and quietly drop the evidence in the harbour. 

Now this particular day Rod was at a meeting elsewhere.  We drivers were in the yard loading freight containers for shipping.  Suddenly we were startled to hear a blood curdling screams coming from the office.  Madly we tore in to find Doreen standing on her desk screaming at the top of her voice.  On the floor was a HUGE dead rat.  Evidently the cat had done this rat in and had laboriously dragged it up two flights of stairs to the office.  Since Rod was not there she proceeded to drag the great carcass over to where Doreen was busily working away…. And draped it across Doreen's foot!!

We dragged the rat away and one of the guys weighed it, a huge thing.  Finally we got Doreen calmed down enough and when Rob arrived we sent her home.

Poor cat was hiding under Rod's desk with eyes as big as saucers.  After things settled she stalked off to her domains but not before giving Doreen a very disgusted look and a sniff.  She trod out of the office with a highly offended nein; tail stuck straight up and grumbling under her breath.

Needless to say there was little work accomplished the rest of that day.  You can't operate heavy machinery with the giggles!

As a further note:  Previously I had seen this same rat being pursued by several husky longshoremen armed with clubs and shovels.  But a few minutes later we heard a yell and the men came tearing back, hotly pursued the Rat!!!!
 


By: Wayne Pond
Copyright © 06-22-01

 

Tac and Tic,  aka  "The Boys"

 



 

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